July 28th - Simpsonized

simpsonized me
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer

A couple of days ago, while I was watching Fox Major League Baseball, they showed an ad for free Simpsonization. By submitting a closely cropped picture of someone's face to www.simpsonizeme.com (and, as I figure out later, www.simpsonizeme.co.uk) the little program will turn this person into a Simpson-esque character. It's a tie-in to the new Simpson's movie that opened today in North America. I took the .png's that you can save and added me (the guy on the left of Homer), Guy (the naked guy), and Sabrina and Narv (far right) onto a picture of gonch-Homer I found by "the Google". The program is impressively accurate. Below are the actual pictures I submitted and close-ups of the Simpsonizations the website kicked out. Unfortunately, there are a few bad thing about the site. One, it doesn't do kids well (my 20 month old niece comes out as a 30ish Chinese Pipi Longstocking double) and, due to high traffic, the site is hard to get on to and when you do get on, it's very, very excruciatingly slow.

July 6th - Kwik E Mart

Woohoo!! With the eminent arrival of The Simpsons Movie on the 27th, Fox decided to convert 12 North American 7-Elevens into replica Kwik-E-Marts and they opened on July 2nd. Thankfully, rather than having the only Kwik-E-Mart in Canada open in Toronto, Montreal, or Calgary, those corporate Fox brainiacs put it in a small suburb near Vancouver called Coquitlam. (1198 Lansdowne Drive.) It's truly amazing, too. We waited in line for thirty minutes to get in, which was a kick in the pants but it was probably worth it for the hardcore Simpsons' fan. Not only does the outside of the store look pretty close to Apu Nahasapeenapetalan's in Springfield, it also contains cool signs inside and out reading slogans that you could very well imagine being found in the real store. The store was to carry some exclusive products, including Pink Kwik-E-Mart donuts, and Squishees but by the time we arrived they were far and away sold out of the more interesting items, such as Buzz Cola and Krusty-O's cereal. We were able to come away with six donuts ($1.29 for two) and 2 Squishees ($2.29 each). Plus, I double-cupped the squishees so I got four of the cups, which are made of plastic and arenneat-o souviners of my visit to the Kwik-E-Mart. I was crazy inside with people carrying around loads of Squishee Cups and one guy actually bought 48 donuts. (He was a little on the portly side and I was actually wondering if he was the real world Comicbook Guy.) Here's a picture of me outside of the Kwik-E-Mart with my Squishee and my pink sprinkle donut. (I really need to get a hair cut.) You'd think that the Kwik-E-Mart stuff would be exclusive to Kwik-E-Marts but Norm and I were a little surprised to find the same stuff at the 7-Eleven we stopped off on our way home. Not only did they have the Squishees and pink donuts but they had the Buzz Cola and the Krusty-O Cereal in stock, which was sold out at the actual Kwik-E-Mart. So, note to all those that want paraphenalia but don't want to get lost in scary Coquitlam looking for the Kwik-E-Mart, you can go to pretty much any 7-Eleven and find the goods. As I mentioned before, there are 11 others in North America besides this one in Coquitlam. They're in:
- Bladensburg, Maryland
- Washington, DC
- Burbank,California
- Chicago, Illinois
- Dallas, Texas
- Denver, Colorado
- Henderson, Nevada
- Los Angeles, California
- Mountain View, California
- New York, New York
- Lake Buena Vista, Florida
- Seattle, Washington
Now, bring on the movie!
ed

May 30th - Book Twenty-Eight: The Trial

DSC03980.JPG
Originally uploaded by
cherubichomer

Similarly to the embarrassment that I felt when I went to Anne Frank's house in Amsterdam before reading her journal, I had some regrets of not reading Franz Kafka before visiting his grave in Prague this summer. (This is a picture of Dwarf wearing a yarmulke next to the famous F. Kafka's grave.) Thus, I promised myself that I would read one of his books sooner or later. Well, I finally got around to it. I've tried numerous times to start this book, which many say is his best piece of work, but they were all false starts because I couldn't get into the translated pieces. This is - seriously - the fourth copy that I purchased and finally it was a great translation which I was able to read completely. Now, I don't know if you've read Kafka before, but it seems that he's got some psychiatric problems. Paranoilia is a running theme and I don't think that there is a large seperation between Kafka and the protagonist, K. Obviously, you'll have to read it for yourself and determine your own ideas but, damn, the characteristic correlations between what I read about Kafka and how K. acts in the book are striking.

DSC00027
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer

I won't lie to you. The book is somewhat a complicated read, even after finding a well translated copy, and there are certain parts of the book that I didn't understand at all. However, the mysterious possibilities that may have resulted in the charges against him make the book a great one. I give the book 4/5. Find a copy at one of your local used book outlets. (254 pages. Total for the year: 7311 pages).

May 22nd - Book Twenty-Seven: Thirst

DSC00025
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer

I used to buy and try to read a lot of short story books but I stopped this year because I know that I usually give up on them once I run into even one story in the compilation that I find poor. I haven't actually finished many compilations before. With my goal being to finish 50 books within the year, I've made an effort of foregoing anthologies to limit the number of discarded starts that could, possibly, reduce the overall number of pages I'll have to read to garner this goal by December 31st. In contrast, I have to read any other book that I start to its last page regardless if it turns sour somewhere in the middle. So, notice, this is my first book of essays this year.

Book 27 is a book that I bought at a London Drugs book sale a couple of years ago. I actually can't remember when I bought it, nor the amount of money I shilled out for it. I do remember that I purchased this Ken Kalfus book of short stories because I read the first story in the London Drugs and I liked it a lot. But, not all of the stories are in the same interesting level as the first two or three of the book. Actually, besides the great writing style, some of the stories drag and stumble to get to the end. Having said this, I do think it's an above average book and I'd recommend it to anyone that can get their paws on a copy of it somewhere, be it Abe's or Powell's or some other reduced price book peddler. 3/5 stars, baby. (207 pages. Total for the year: 7057 pages).

May 20th - Kore brings out the bling

DSC00005
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer

Another individual at the N & S's engagment party was the famous and highly celebrated BC Hydro call centre phone jockey Corey W. Look at this beast. Good looks and perfect girth. And he looks increasingly more like George Costanza with every passing year. He may look outwardly like Mr. Costanza but the way that he's modeling that bling watch and pawing that gin and juice, he looks inwardly more like another famous George...George Burns! No, I'm kidding. I'm talking George Clooney! (Or, George Burns.) As if I have to tell you, he's pulling here.

May 20th, 2007 - The Proposal

DSC00009
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer

Today, I attended the engagement party for my friend Narv and his fiancee Sabrina. This is a picture of someone and another person that also attended the party. They look happy. Actually, this is Narv and Sabrina. Though, I can say with some certainty that I don't know who the two individuals on the left of the picture are. (I think the one on Narv's right might be Keyser Soze; If memory serves me, I think he walked with a limp and he may have been holding his left arm with his right hand. However, I may be wrong. And this, certainly, wouldn't be the first time.) The curry served at the restaurant was the best. The best, I say. Well, at least, it's much better than the only other curry I've ever had: "Curry Point" at UBC. Very memorable event. I'm happy to see Narv growing up.

May 17th - Book Twenty-Six: Londonstani

DSC09761
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer

Sometimes I miss England and this sort of thing is a great reminder of just how much I miss it. This is a fantastic book that Narv leant me and it tells a story about growing up as a young,middle class British Asian (Indian) in current-day England. (It was released last year and it was actually a highly touted book that I saw everywhere while in England but I didn’t get around reading it then because it was (I thought) such a large book with over 300! pages. (Now, well, 300 is still a lot of pages but the Canadian print of this books seems to me (somehow...possibly thinner stock paper? Or dense ink?) to appear a little smaller and, thus, a little more manageable.) When I taught in Ramsey, I only had two or three Indo-Britians in all of the classes I taught and they seemed to have completely bought into being British so I don’t know how much of this book is really true but, based on the general experiences I had with young English society, I wouldn’t bet against any of this possibly happening. A great story with a very unsuspecting and shocking surprise ending, I recommend it highly to all those that are looking for a perfect summer read. 4/5 (342 pages. Total for the year: 6850 pages).

May 10th - Book Twenty-Five: The Child Buyer

DSC09987
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

Written in 1960, Pulitzer Prize winning author John Hersey's "The Child Buyer" is my 25th - aka hump - book of 2007; I'm half way through to 50. As noted on the book's cover, it is a very Orwellian story that produces a surprisingly immoral story that I guess could have been considered plausible when it was writen. However, some will say that, with the advent, success, and proliferation of computers and other artificial intelligent machines, the story has passed its time. Yet, if you consider that every one in this generation owns digital gadgets that handily store information so they no longer need to learn or retain information as long as they are attached to these machines, possibly this fictional story, though using dated examples, is actually ironically prophetic. The book is very good. I liked it very much. Rating: 3.63/5. (258 pages. Total for the year: 6508 pages).

May 7th - Book Twenty-Four: Game Misconduct

DSC09986
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

I bought this book from Value Village on Victoria Drive for $5.99. It's a little dated - published in 1996 - but still a very insightful read. It tells of the many disturbing failings of Alan Eagleson's running of Hockey Canada, the NHLPA, his law firm, and his pro hockey player agency. Obviously, most Canadian hockey fans know a little something of the problems Mr. Eagleson ran into following his departure from the NHLPA and Hockey Canada but this book clearly outlines just how greivous these transgressions were. Really, he took advantage of the NHLPA and its players to use the union in any way that he could that would make him money. Fortunately, he has been caught with doing this. Unfortunately, though only in the United States. He was charged by the FBI but after refusing to show up to court in the United States he is now a fugitive of that country. In Canada, he has not been charged even after 15 years of investigation by the RCMP, OPD, and other Federal Agencies. Plus, Canada will not extradite him to face his charges in the US. Many consider his tight association and friendships with many top Canadian government politicians as his savior from prosecution in Canada and, ultimately, the United States. Besides the many offenses outlined in Mr Conway's book, the most surprising relevation in this book was the possible relocation of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the early 90s. Apparently, Mr. Eagleson was hired to help a group in the possible purchase of an NHL franchise and one of his suggestions was to buy the Maple Leafs from the old curmudgeon Harold Ballard and to move it to Hamilton. Apparently, Mr. Ballard had just had a falling out with all of his three children and, with his advancing age, was considering selling the hockey team. The book is written like a news article - I guess that makes sense since Mr. Conway is a reporter - and there are weird, disjointed sentences. The story is very interesting but don't read it for style. 2.5/5. (271 pages. Total for the year: 6250 pages).

May 1st - Book Twenty-Three: The Diary Of Anne Frank

DSC09990
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

When I went to visit the office building last fall that the Franks family hid out in in Amsterdam, I was embarrased to find that I was the only one there that hadn't read her diary beforehand. When walking around the museum the importance of the some stuff eluded me. Well, because of this, I promised that I would read the diary sooner or later.
The book is very much a diary of a teener with more than half the book written about her infatuations with boys. Obviously, at her age that was what was important to her even in the difficult situation she found herself in. There isn't as much material about the hiding place and the experience of living in seclusion as I imagined there would be but she does give sufficient insight into how hard it must have been to have done what she and her family had to do for the two years spent hiding. The hardest part of this book to read was the end chapter that explains the ultimate end of the apartment's residents. Very sad indeed, especially considering they were caught so close to VE Day. A very good and sombering book. 5/5. (283 pages. Total for the year: 5979 pages).

April 28th - Book Twenty-Two: Girls

DSC09977
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

I finally finished another book. It's been two weeks but it's because I'm reading three books at the same time, plus I'm trying to learn the Math 11 curriculum so I don't look like an idiot when I teach it every weekend. I'm staying one step ahead of them and it's working...I think. Girls is a book by Nic Kelman, an MIT and Brown University grad. I bought the book in England because of a positive blurb I read about it written by James Frey. It was somewhat a thoughtful commentary of what men think about when someone of the opposite sex walks by but the style is weird and the story is broken up into complicated bits and pieces that don't neccessarily fit together. This book has received a lot of praise from critics all over the world but to me it's not really that great a book. But what do I know? 2.5/5. (214 pages. Total for the year: 5696 pages)

April 14th - Book Twenty-One: Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood

DSC09975
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

So, I've broken the 20 book level which means I'm more than 40% through the goal of 50 in 52. Koren Zailckas wrote this memoir of herself growing up as a lush. The book, which kicks around some - but thankfully not too much - statistical data about youth drinking is able to limit most of the seemingly requisite preaching found in similar books that drive to tell people how they should live their lives. Her story provides interesting reading for anyone that wants stripped-down insight into what college drinking in the United States looks like. She is able to convey the negatives of binge drinking without doing anything by telling her weird, drunken stories. I bought this book for $5.99 at Book Warehouse on Broadway. Rating: 3.5/5. (343 pages. Total for the year: 5482 pages)

I'm not in Kuwait. (Though it's pretty damn hot here, too.)

It seems like there are many out there that still believe that I'm in Kuwait. Though, I was suppose to leave on the 19th for this lovely middle eastern country, I didn't go. The school didn't send me the promised plane ticket. And my hiring agency - though truly surprised and seemingly helpful - aren't really concerned with it. Apparently, the school had some second thoughts about hiring me for the remainder of the school year considering there were only 90-odd days left. As well, the school was sold just days after they agreed to hire me, which the agency thinks, played a part in them reneging on this teaching placement. I would have loved to have gone to Kuwait but, well, it's not happening this time around. Instead, I'm just sitting around waiting for ITN to get something short-notice for me so I can teach somewhere in this world for the remainder of the 2007 Academic year. Following is a transcript of my emails with the school.

March 9 - "Edmond Jay [VH]" to alnaki
I am preparing to come to Kuwait and will look into flights for next week or the following week. I would like to speak to you or a representative from the school before I come. If possible, could you please ring me at my home phone number between 2000 and 2400hrs Pacific Standard Time tomorrow? I have a few more questions that I would like to discuss before completely committing to this position. My number at home is 604-###-#### I look forward to speaking to you.

March 10 - alnaki to me
dear mr jay,
with reference to your telecon had with mr al-naki. pls note that mr al-naki is out of kuwait and will be back on 15th march' 2007. answer to all your queries will be given on 15th march' 2007.

thanks
ms manju
secretary

No one from the school called me.!!!

March 11 - I called Mr al-naki and made arrangements to come on the 19th. He promised to get me the plane ticket and some information about the science department by the 15th.

March 16 - "Edmond Jay [VH]" to alnaki
Hello. Still waiting for some information on the biology department and my eminent flight to Kuwait that I believe is being organised on your end.

March 19 - "Edmond Jay [VH]" to alnaki
I am still waiting for news about working with KIES. I was agreed upon in my last phone conversation with you, I was expecting some information on the science department to be emailed to me as soon as possible and to travel to Kuwait, through organization via the school, on March 19 but that date has already passed. Can you please update me on what is happening?

March 20 - alnaki to me
dear mr edmond,
thank you for your e-mail.
time was just passing in corresponding and now the academic year is ending and after 2 months the school will close. pls let us know your availability for next academic year staring from 1st september' 2007.
regards,
mohammed al-naki

March 20 - "Edmond Jay [VH]" to Sally (ITN)
Sally, upon speaking with the head of KIES on the 12th, I had made arrangements with him to fly me out on March 19th. He said the school would get everything done for me for the 15th. I've been emailing him constantly over the last week to get everything done because of the imminent arrival of the 19th but he hadn't responded to any of my correspondences until today. And in this response, I'm very disappointed to read that the school has rescinded their offer. I quit my hospital job and my math position at a private school on the understanding that I was going to teach for the remainder of the year and now Mr. Al-Naki has told me they don't want me. As you can imagine, I'm very unhappy with this turn of events. They seemed open to me accepting the posting and told me to get ready for travel on the 19th. This included me giving notice of my hospital job to my current employees and my teaching position to the math department at Formosa School. But, for some reason or another, Mr. Al-Naki no longer want me for the remainder of this year. Now, I don't have a job here in Vancouver nor a job in Kuwait and I am surely going to lose out financially because of this. As my representation, there must be something that you can do. As I've stated, on my telephone conversation with KIES they assured me of my employment with the school and told me to prepare to leave Vancouver for Kuwait for March 19th. Now, on the 20th they have reneged on this offer. I anxiously await your assistance in this matter.

March 21 - "Edmond Jay [VH]" to alnaki
Mr. Al-Naki, I am disappointed to hear that you are rescinding the offer you provided to me for immediate employment with your school. As we spoke on the telephone on March 12th, it seemed that everything was okay and I had the impression of you guaranteeing me work. Because of this conversation and the mutual agreement between us for me to leave on March 19th, I have been preparing over the last week to travel and begin work in Kuwait. This preparation included me quiting my two jobs here in Vancouver. Now, with you and your school reneging on your offer, you have left me without employment in Vancouver for the current time being. I must say again how disappointed I am with your decision not to provide me the Biology opening at your school for the remainder of the year. Not only was I looking forward to the opportunity of working in the amazing country of Kuwait but now, based on the information you gave me on the 12th you are also leaving me in
a very difficult financial situation in Vancouver.
Please note that I have forwarded your last email correspondence to ITN stating my disappointment with how your school has dealt with the situation. I must say that without employment beginning immediately I cannot see how I could agree to be available to your school for any future employment opportunities.
If you or KIES would like to talk further of this situation and possibly how it may be remedied, please email at this address or phone me 778-###-####.
Respectfully,

March 26 -alnaki to me
dear mr jay,
we had all the correspondence. the delay was from your end. in one of our e-mail we had also mentioned that "pls let us know when you want us to book and from which airport" but we never received response from your end.
regards,
mohammed al-naki

March 26 - I sent Mr. Al-Naki a lenghty email - maybe a 500 words - about the agreement. It's too long to paste here but the gist of it was my anger in them not telling me earlier that they were opting out of the agreement.

I never heard from Mr Al-naki after this last correspondence.

March 28 - Sally Barrett to me
Hi Ed
Quick update for you. The plot thickens.....Just had a call from one of our associates who has picked some information this morning on the international grapevine. It turns out that the one and only Mr Al-naki has just sold the school and bailed out of the education business entirely! Apparently it happened just over a week ago, which certainly ties in with them reneging on your job offer and our not being able to get hold of him. I will now try and get hold of someone at the school to see if I can find out who has bought it and who the new management are.
Cheers fro now
Sally
Sally Barrett BEd(Hons)
International Consultant
INTERNATIONAL TEACHERS NETWORK

Correspondences from ITN are, as always, few and far between. This was the last email from them on this matter so it doesn't seem that anything was really done for me on their behalf.

April 3 - Sally Barrett to me
Hi Ed
Just had a note from v good school in Jordan in need of someone to teach maths and some KS3 science next term. It is a temp post with a poss of becoming perm for Sept. I have, of course, sent thru your details to Ken, the director, and hope to hear back form him later today. Will keep you posted.
This is the basic info Ken sent thru. You can check out the school at: http://www.ics-amman.edu.jo/
For expatriate staff, the ICS offers one free return economy flight for the duration of this temporary contract, thereafter one free annual economy flight per year. This would be for ALL accompanying members of the immediate family. There is free schooling for all children. ICS provides an accommodation allowance of 5,500 JDs per year which is enough for a basic three bedroomed flat. We pay a utilities allowance of 700 JD per year. We do not cover telephone bills. The school is responsible for all maintenance, other than wilful damage. For this temporary contract, all payments are pro rata.
The salary will be in the region of US$3,300 per month, depending on qualifications and experience.
Currently, we have 350 pupils aged 3-16. We are moving into A levels and Nursery from September 2008.
Cheers
Sally
Sally Barrett BEd(Hons)
International Consultant
INTERNATIONAL TEACHERS NETWORK

It's now the 11th and I really don't know what' happening with my teaching situation.

Ed

April 9th - Book Twenty: Not Wanted On The Voyage.

DSC09973-voy
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

Everyone in Canada knows Timothy Findley. If you don’t – and he’s not that guy that sits next to Don Cherry during Coaches Corner – then you’re not truly Canadian. Mr. Findlay is probably one of the five big Canadian writers and of those five, which includes Margaret Atwood, Robertson Davies, W.P. Kinsella, Alice Monroe, and Mordecai Richler, he is definitely my favorite. I’ve read many of his books and this one is without any doubt my favorite. And to re-read it during Easter long weekend, well it’s just an indication of what I really think about organized religion. I think I’ll make it an annual tradition from now on. The premise is pretty ingenious: It’s an imaginative retelling of what might have happened on Noah’s Ark. I know there are other books out there that ‘fictionalize’ stories from the Bible, such as A History of the World in 10 ½ Chapters by Julian Barnes, but this is the best example, in my mind. It’s a funny, thoughtful and surprising story that provides an amazing view into the wonderful writing abilities of Mr. Findley. There are numerous turns and twists in his story as he makes fun of both religion and science within the 350-odd pages of this book. If you ever wanted to know what happened to the mythical Unicorn or why demons are evil, then this is the book that gives you as good an answer as any. Go read this book. Rating: 5/5. (352 pages. Total for the year: 5139 pages)

April 6th - Book Nineteen: The Tetherballs of Bougainville.

DSC09970-tb
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

I purchased this book from Book Warehouse a couple of years ago but couldn’t find the time to give it a go until now. It’s an amazing satiric story written in a way that would make Jonathan Ames blush. Written by the funny Mark Leyner there were numerous amazing passages that made me laugh out loud and even more passages that almost made me pee myself as I giggled like a 6 year-old watching some ‘evil’ character get nutted (once again) in a slanderous cartoon rendition of a classical favorite by the Walt Disney Corporation. (Mind you, I use this analogy as high praise for Mr. Leyner’s book because I (a) consider voided urinal volume during fits of laughter as an honest measure of how funny a book is and (b) I actually think it’s funny when someone gets roasted in the nuts.) The book’s plot is actually very thin but really, if you’re reading this book for content then you’re also probably watching “Coronation Street” for its sociological study on Northern English life. The book is broken into two parts. The first part describes how a thirteen year old deals with the lethal injection execution of his father for shoplifting a hand-blender. The second part is written as a screenplay by the same thirteen-year-old as he describes how the story of the execution of his father would play out on the silver screen. Lock yourself in a room with this book, a bar of butter (unsalted), and a wooden spatula and don’t come out until you finish reading. Believe me, the time will pass so quickly, when you finish only 2/3 of the butter will have been used and you’ll only have a handful of splinters from the spatula. (Don’t worry, Narv. I’ll lend you the book. You’ll have to get your own butter and spatula, though.) Rating: 5/5. (240 pages. Total for the year: 4787 pages)

April 1st - Book Eighteen: Clay’s Way.

DSC09969-cw
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

Written by 21-year-old Blair Mastbaum about a 15 year old skater boy that is in love with an 18 year old surfer dude. Very abstract but somewhat believable. The story jumps around a lot and plays into a lot of different things that make the story seem disjointed but I think it’s just in the vein of how a 15-year guy might actually think when going through all of the trails of falling in love with another guy. It’s not the greatest book out there and it might not be worth your time to search it out but if you find it out there for, let’s say $4.99 – like I did at Hager Books on 41st Avenue – then maybe pick it up for a quick read. Otherwise, maybe just try out your own ‘alternative’ side and experience this story for yourself first hand. Rating: 3/5. (246 pages. Total for the year: 4547 pages)

By the way, did you know that Vancouverites purchase more books per capita than any other city in North America? If this is actually true, it leaves me wondering why half of my friends are illiterate. (And some of these are teachers.)

March 26th - Book Seventeen: Lord of the Flies-lof

DSC09967-lof
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

I didn’t get a chance to read William Golding’s famous first novel in high school. I guess Mr. Secrest – or who ever my grade 8 English teacher was back then – chose Charlotte’s Web or The Outsiders instead. This book is not an easy read. It’s easy enough to get through the plot of this book but I can just imagine all the difficult and inquisitive questions that an English teacher could come up with about this book. One question, for example: The conch in this novel obviously plays the part of symbolizing how delicate and fleeting true power is for people in competition for ruling control. However, what is Mr. Golding trying to symbolize with the pink granite that “thrust up uncompromisingly through forest and terrace and sand and lagoon to make a raised jetty four feet high”? Think of all the delicate answers you might get from the boys in the class. Obviously, the book is an amazing study of power and development (or de-development) of civilization with the absence of authority and the defying of rules but still it seems like a book that I’ve read before. Can anyone say William Butler’s “The Butterfly Revolution”? It’s a good book and I enjoyed the ideas it produces and the thinking it provoked. However, if I was 13 – or however old you are when you read this in school – the writing style would have bored me to death. Based during the Second World War and written in English from that time period, I can totally understand how students that have to read this book think it’s boring. I stole my copy from school. Rating: 4/5. (225 pages. Total for the year: 4301 pages)

March 21st - Book Sixteen: The Ball.

DSC09940
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

This book, which I think I purchased from Black Bond Books a couple of years ago is about Mark McGwire's 70th homerun baseball. Obviously, it's only a ball - with an actual worth of $5, considering materials and workmanship - but the preceived value, because of connection to baseball history, was almost a million times greater. The book, by Dan Paisner, follows what happens to the young man that sprawls out and smothers this ball after it bangs into the box suite he and his office buddies where sharing at the last Cardinals game of the year. The story isn't really that exciting nor is it very interesting but I always finish books I start. The only cliffhanger in all of this was trying to determine who had actually purchased the ball for $3.005 Million. And whether or not he feels like an idiot paying out $3.005 Million for a ball that quickly depreciated back to $5 after Barry Bonds smashed the 70 homerun mark a couple of years later. Without mention of the troubles McGwire has had in the recent past with allegations of steroid use during this amazing feat, obviously there are no chapters set aside to question the legitimacy of his feat. It's a book. I read it. Rating: 2.5/5. (206pages. Total for the year: 4186 pages)

Going to Kuwait

So, I've finally accepted my next overseas position and it's in Kuwait. I'm leaving next Tuesday to teach Biology at an English curriculum school in Kuwait City for the remainder of this year and possibly for the duration of next year. I don't know a whole lot about Kuwait City except that it's got a lot of sand. Plus, it has a Virgin Megastore. Well, I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say about Kuwait once I get there in a few days. These are pictures of a gummy bear carpet. Yum.

March 11th - Book Fifteen: Devil in the Details.

A book by Jennifer Traig. Jews and OCD. Who knew? I purchased this book for $5.99 from Chapters in Richmond. I bought it because of Dave Eggers. She writes for McSweeney sometimes and I guess that's how she wrangled Dave Eggers into writing a dust cover comment for her book. Good book, though. Highly enjoyable and I highly recommend it. 4/5 stars. Go get it. (246pages. Total for the year: 3980 pages)

Next year's Canucks jerseys?

These are the proposed designs of next year's Vancouver Canucks Jerseys that I found on the Canucks.com website. I think they look great but, well, what's up with Johnny Canuck? I think it's a great idea for them to go back to the original "rink and stick" C jersey.

canucks-uniforms
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

March 3rd - Book Fourteen: The Third Brother

third brother
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

Nick McDonell wrote a book called Twelve three or four years ago and it was one of my favorite books for that particular year. He was written up as being the next big American author having published Twelve at the age of only 17. Though Twelve was flawed with a weird and unfinished writing style, the story was good and the characters true. The Third Brother is his second, very much anticipated book. I bought it not because I liked his first book - I find that liking one book of an author doesn't necessarily mean you'll like his/her other books - but because it was a starred review for Kirkus; I usually like books suggested by Kirkus. This book reads very, very easily and it's because he writes like he's still in high school. Maybe it was planned, as the protagonist is supposed to be a first or second year university student - and we all know how poorly they write - but I don't think so. Really, it must be at a grade eight or nine reading level, which doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad book but it does make it a bad book if the plot is poor as well and, well, this book also has a bad plot. I know that writing a follow up book to such a well received first book must be difficult but Mr. McDonell's second attempt is disappointing. Try again, Nick. Or maybe not. I give it 1.5/5. (288pages. Total for the year: 3734 pages)

March 1st - Book Thirteen: Into Thin Air

DSC09897[1]
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

Jon Krakauer's book "Into Thin Air" is a very well known and very well read book about the 1998 Everest climbing year, which at the time was the deadliest year for Everest climbers. It reads very easily and the story is very well written. It's interesting and informative, giving insight into what extreme altitude mountaineering actually entails. Obviously, it's much more than climbing a couple of hundred metres of slight incline as the handicap of low oxygen and ice creates a nasty and unforgiving situation. The only thing that I question is the detail that Mr. Krakauer puts into describing the events. He often comments on the decrease in lucidity with increased altitude but writes of the events as if there wasn't even a slight imparement of his cognitive ability. I bought this book at Value Village on Victoria Drive for $2.99 and I recommend the book to anyone. I give it 3.5/5. The other book in the picture is Woodstock and Snoopy painting Easter Eggs. I read that book with my niece Emma. A very good read as well. Even though it's a book and I read it, I'm not including it as one of my 50 books. (416 pages. Total for the year: 3446 pages)

February 23rd - Book Twelve: Fat Girl

fat_girl_moore
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

This book, by Judith Moore, is my book number 12 and it was an okay book, I guess. Ms. Moore wrote this book as a memoir of her being overweight. It's very touching at times but not the type of story that I normally read. I bought it at bookwarehouse for $5.99 because the dust cover contains a review by David Sedaris. It's insightful but sometimes over the top. I know that I'll probably never get to the situation where I'll be any more than empathetic to an overweight people's burden but the story seems a little too self pitying. My inability to relate left me less able to relate. Very well written, though, and the pages fly by. I'd give it a 2.5/5. (196 pages. Total for the year: 3030 pages)

February 17th - Book Eleven: Checkpoint

DSC09884
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

This is a book by Nicholson Baker. I bought it at Pulpfiction on Main Street at the corner of Broadway for $9. (It's a first edition.) He wrote some very good books like Vox, The Fermata, and The Mezzanine all which have a strong "cultish" following. Checkpoint may seem a lot different than the books that he's written in the past but I think that there is a very subtle similarity. When I read The Fermata, The Mezzanine, and Vox the first thing that came to mind was Mr. Baker was telling us a story about things that he wants to do. His personality comes through his characters. I think Checkpoint is doing the same thing. This book is based on a conversation between two friends on the possibility of assassinating George W. Bush. The character Jay feels a need to kill Bush to stop all the nonsensical murders that he's causing in the countries the United States at at war with. I think the book strongly suggests Baker's political leanings. An interesting read if you want a quick abridged history of what GWB has done to create the situation that he has put the US in. However, be warned that it is a politically charged, strongly left leaning book. I give it 2.5/5 and I recommend it to those that like Michael Moore. For those that would rather read David Hardy (He wrote the book "Michael Moore is a big fat stupid white man" this'll just raise your blood pressure. (128 pages. Total for the year: 2834 pages)

Lui

luongo01_b
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

The next coming of Kirk McLean but with a little bit more personality, there are millions in this town that are betting on this guy to take the Canucks to the promiseland that is the Stanley Cup playoffs. He's been amazing, almost super-human in his actions and this is getting many people around the water cooler talking. Here are some Luongo-isms;
- Luongo doesn't sleep... he waits.
- Some wear Superman pajamas.... Kipper wears Luongo pajamas.
- Luongo lost his virginity before his dad did.
- On the 7th day God rested... Luongo took over.
- Luongo can shoot a plane down by holding up his stick and yelling "BANG!"
- Luongo is Luke Skywalkers real father.
- Luongo is the reason why waldo is hiding.
- Luongo counted to infinity. twice.
- Luongo's glove hand is the only one that can beat a Royal Flush.
- When the boogyman goes to sleep everynight... he checks his closet for Luongo.
- Icey-hot is not strong enough for Luongo. After each game he rubs his muscles with liquid MAGMA
- The bible was originaly named "Luongo and Friends"
- Luongo was what Willis was talkin about.
- When God said "let there be light" Luongo said "Say please."
- In a fight between Bieksa and Iginla you know who the winner would be? Luongo.
- In the words of Julius Caesar: "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Luongo". Translation: "I came, I saw, i was shut out by Luongo".
- Mr. T "Pities the fool" Luongo pities Mr. T.
- Chuck Norris is revered for his roundhouse kicks. It was once said that Chuck Norris performed a roundhouse kick so powerful; it's caused the Earth to reverse it rotation. Time stopped altogether when Luongo made a basic kick save.

Go, Canucks, go.

February 13th - Book Ten: The Cutting Room

DSC09883
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

Louise Welsh won a lot of praise and a even more accollades for this book. Her first, it was applauded by British newspaper The Guardian as the year's best crime fiction when it debuted. It's on this praise that I bought the book. Based on a homosexual male auctioneer (that should have warned me off right there) it follows the plot of the main trying to figure out if some pictures he gets his paws on of an apparent snuff are real or fake. Why did I mention that the protagonist was gay? It shouldn't matter, you say? Well, Ms. Welsh doesn't let us forget the sexual orientation of the Auctioneer. The story is somewhat schizophrenic, jumping from his (numerous) sexual conquests and/or sexual desires, stereotypical private investigator reactions - car chases, drinking problems, little white lies to gain an advantage in the search, etc, etc, etc. - and less than informatiive meanderings that have nothing to do with the plot. Really, having a tough guy homosexual auctioneer with so much sensitivity seemed wrong. He's portrays more as a strong woman, which Ms. Welsh should have had as a lead instead. I don't read a lot of detective/crime/whodunits so maybe this is how they all play out but this novel doesn't rate very high for me. Actually, it was work just to finish the last 100 pages. The only thing I really know after reading this book is that Gin and Tonic is considered a woman's drink and I won't be reading another detective novel in the remaining 46 or so weeks. I bought it at the Bookware House on 4th. I may release it as a bookcrossing book close to there, too. Out of 5, it's a 1. (294 pages. Total for the year: 2706 pages)

February 8th - Book Nine: Bloodletting and miraculous cures

DSC09882
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

This book is a very good read. I bought it because it won the Giller and I' m not disappointed at all over the purcahse. (I bought it from Bookware House on Broadway at 20% off. It's on sale at the Chapters.ca website for much better than that.) Similar in style to "Jade Peony" by Wayson Choy, another book by a Chinese Canadian, the chapters are narratives from different characters linked to a same story. The writing is very strong and elegant. Sometimes, it was too nicely written...I'm not so well read that I could get into the glamorous writing easily all the time. The story of the discovery of this literary star is as good as the book. Apparently, he found himself on the same boat cruise as Margaret Atwood and he asked her to read it. She obliged and it was off to the races. Good book, buy it now!!!! 5/5 stars. (368 pages. Total for the year: 2412 pages)

February 2nd - Book Eight: Bongwater

DSC09866
Originally uploaded by
cherubichomer.

I just finished Michael Hornburg's book Bongwater, which I picked up at Camelot Books at West 10th Avenue in Vancouver for $7. Set in Portland,the book is an interesting story about a 20 something slacker guy during the early to late 90s. It reads very easily and the opening chapters of the book really drew me in. The story's plot builds chapter after chapter and then the book just ends. No, there isn't a catastrophic event that satisfies the abrupt ending. Instead, the book just ends. Very disappointing. Possibly, Mr. Hornburg had to meet a deadline. 3/5 stars. I may set this book free via bookcrossings. If you don't know what book crossings is, check it out at www.bookcrossings.com. (208pages. Total for the year: 2044 pages)

January 29th - Book Seven: The Game

DSC09862
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

This is Hockey Hall of Fame goaltender Ken Dryden's famous book about one week in his last year with the Montreal Canadiens. Mr. Dryden, now a famous Canadian politician, certainly has a way with words. Bob Clarke, the heart and soul of the Philadelphia Flyers and Dryden's teammate on many National team events during the seventies, once said of Mr. Dryden, "If you asked him the time, he'd build you a watch. You didn't dare ask him a question because you'd have to stand there and listen to him spout off for half an hour." Yeah, his writing is pretty much the same. However, his writing is interesting and intelligent. It gives great insight into the meaning of hockey to Canadians. I suggest that every Canadian, hockey and no-hockey fans alike, read this book. Actually, I think it should be a future recommened "Canada Reads" book. I give it a 5/5. (248pages. Total for the year: 1836 pages)

January 24th - Book Six: Early Bird

DSC09861
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

My sixth book was Early Bird by Rodney Rothman which I purchased from Book Warehouse for the fabulous price of $4.99. I bought the book primarily because it has a jacket cover "praise" from Jon Stewart of the Daily Show. (Now, I know everyone is hyping the Cobert Report right now but nothing, not even Stephen Colbert, can hold a candle to Jon Stewart.) Obviously, if Mr. Stewart finds this book funny, it's gotta be funny. And it is. It's a great book. His writing style and humour is akin to David Rakoff or David Sedaris but much easier to understand as he's heterosexual - so the sex jokes he writes actually makes sense to me - and younger - so the sex jokes he writes acutally makes sense to me. Mr. Rothman was once the head joke writer for "The Late Show with David Letterman" and writes hilariously of retiring in his late 20s to a retirement facility in Florida. Slowly morphing into the type of people the he finds himself surrounded by in Florida, he sheds light on how it feels to be old and retired in the US. I recommend this book highly - and if you rush out you can probably find a few still available at the $4.99 table at any of the Book Warehouses in Vancouver. I give it 4.5/5. Pick it up! (256pages. Total for the year: 1588 pages)

January 21st - Book Five: About the Author

I finished another book yesterday. Book five is John Colapinto's book "About the Author" published a few years back. I bought it at Book Warehouse for the great price of $4.99 a couple of years ago. A crime/mystery story about stealing, blackmail, and deception, the book has a very good opening chapter that "hooks" very well. However, the ending is somewhat less well developed and it makes the telling of the story a little disjointed. Similarly importnat points that took Colapinto hundreds of pages to describe at the beginning of the book only took him a few pages to write at the ending; It felt very rushed at the conclusion. Regardless, though, the book is very well written and a very exceptional read. (Recommened by Stephen King, what more endorsement is needed to get anyone to read this book? Okay, more proof: It also rate very high on Amazon.com.) The story plays out in a very unpredictable way and surprises with each passing chapter. I give it a 4/5 and recommend it to anyone that can get their little paws on it. (272pages. Total for the year: 1336 pages)

January 15th - Night out

DSC09838.JPG
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

Finally, I got a night out. Here's Guy, Howard, and Mariko outside of Shopper's Drug Mart.

January 14th - Book Four: The One Minute Manager

DSC09856.JPG
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

My fourth book of the year was The One Minute Manager by Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. It' s a very good book based on providing a plan for good managing. The writing is very simple and somewhat dry but I guess people don't read this book for its amazing writing but for its amazing management plan. It's concept is basically the same one that is provided to us during education school. However, the defining difference is to make it clear that there is a difference between a person that understands how it works or wants it to work and a person that follows the steps and actually puts it to work. The only thing that this book doesn't provide is clear case-study examples of following the steps to make it work. I think it's a 4.5/5 and recommend it to everyone. (111 pages. Total for the year: 1064 pages)

January 12th - Book Three: Pure

DSC09837.JPG
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

Book 3 is Pure by Rebecca Ray. I bought this book from Heathrow Airport on my way home to Vancouver. It's a book about the trials of a high school girl growing up in England and contains a lot of references to schooling in England, which is ultimately the reason I bought it. About an eighth into the book, it dawned on me that this book is either: (a) a young adult fiction book or (b) poorly written. I think it's the latter as the topics written about are not really young people issues. As well, Rebecca Ray left school at 16 to write this book and having taught in an England school, I can say these types of grammatical errors have an origin. She writes with strong knowledge of certain issues and I believe that she probably experienced a lot of the things that she writes about. I wonder if this book is actually an autobiography for Ms. Rae. The story has to do with the weird relationship between father and daughter and it's very difficult - confusing, maybe - to figure out how everything goes wrong. I don't think the book is available in Canada anyways so my rating of this book can't persuade you to read it or not but here it is anyways: with poor writing and a moderate plot, I'd rate it a 2/5. (416 pages. Total for the year: 953 pages)

January 7th - Book Two: Shanghai Baby

DSC09832.JPG
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

It's amazing what a person can do when they don't have anything else to do, I've finished another book. Book 2 is Shanghai Baby by Wei Hui. I bought it some time ago from Powell's Books in Portland for $5.95. It's a book that I read a review about and the fact that it was banned in China left me wanting to read it and I remember feeling pretty lucky finding it at Powell's. Obviously, it's been translated (which explains the many grammatical errors) and I think that the book probably would have read much better in its original form but I'm sad to say that this copy of the book is very disappointing. Actually, I think, based on the copy that I read, it's a poorly written and poorly told story. I'd give the book a 1.5/5. (258 pages. Total for the year: 537 pages)

January 4th - The 50 Book Challenge

I'm taking the 50 books in 52 weeks challenge as my New Year resolution. I don't really think I've ever read 50 weeks in one year before - even when taking education and having to read all of the stuff they make us read - and I don't know how much time I'll have to spend reading during the year, especially when, or if, I get my next job but whatever. I'll just have to exclude 9 billion page tombs and stick with Archie Comicbook-like easy reads. So, no "Infinte Jest" by David Foster Wallace or Tom Wolfe's "I am Charlotte Simmons" and more books like Billy Corgan's "Blinking with fists". Actually, I'm off to a good start. I've already read one book and I've started my second and I still have three days left in the first week of the year! Yippee for me. I read "Praise" by Australian author Andrew McGahan in only three days. I bought it at a $2 table at Black Bond Books at Lansdowne Mall in Richmond. Really, the only reason I purchased it was because Mr. McGahan is a past winner of the Australian/Vogel Award. I don't exactly know what the award is for - it could be for the best book about albino cats set in the jungles of Africa or best first biographical book on one of the three stooges - but having that line on the cover sold me. It's an okay book...not exactly the best writing I've read but it has its moments. A moderate story about a 8 month period for twenty-something while he's on the dole. A lot of drug and sex references. I'd recommend it if you see it for $2. (279 pages)

January 1 - 87th Annual Polar Bear Swim

DSC09823.JPG
Originally uploaded by
cherubichomer.

My New Years wasn't very eventful. I worked at the hospital and then went home. The hospital was surprisingly busy. It's usually not. I did get to break open one of the boxes of alcohol chocolates that I found in the filing cabinet but that's as close as I got to a conventional festive New Year's drink. Very unlike my last New Years, that's for sure.

DSC09793.JPG
Originally uploaded by cherubichomer.

Narv, Guy, and I took in the annual Polar Bear Swim. The 87th Annual at English Bay in Vancouver. This meet is one of the oldest of its kind in the world. Impressive, eh? Our intention was to go to the one in White Rock, actually. The 1st Annual Surrey Naturist Polar Bare Plunge at Crescent Rock but we kinda ran out of time to get out to White Rock. This nude event is the one that Guy and Narv really wanted to go to...I guess they really wanted to get that full body experience. (It looked like it was probably a good thing that we missed this as the news showed some clips of it and the water looked really rough and the turnout looked like it was 6 older white dudes.) We arrived at English Bay a little late due to parking issues but we still got to swim. The water was cold but it wasn't too unbearable. Fun times. I got a free button. Here's a picture of Dwarf at the 2007 Polar Bear Swim sign and another of me and Guy waiting our turn to enter the water. (I'm the guy on the left without any color. Guy is on the right giving the half moon to Narv.)